“In the shadow under the green visor of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly’s supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D.H. Holmes department store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress.”
But wait. Where’s Ignatius?
According to the desk clerk at the former D.H. Holmes—now the Chateau Sonesta Hotel—Ignatius was removed two days ago because “someone kept tryin’ to steal him.”
Such an offense against taste and decency! Clearly it reflects the would-be thief’s lack of theology and geometry. Why, it even casts doubts upon one’s soul…
Quid Plura? 
Trying to steal it! My pyloric valve is beginning to constrict just thinking of it.
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I think that we need to make a banner of a bedsheet and march in protest.
Jeffery Hodges
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I just shudder to imagine what the Ignatius statue is doing while locked in a room all by itself…
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Go dangle your withered part over the toilet, will you?
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Those degenerates! How dare those perverts try to capture my statue! They should see me in my pirate outfit. It is quite fetching, I must say!
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