“And as the nail sunk in the cloud…”

Medievalism may be in short supply around here for the next day or so, as we at “Quid Plura?” headquarters stay glued to the Weather Channel. Gustav has its eye on the area of Louisiana where my family lives—but they make me proud, as they’re facing down the hurricane with the wit of Ignatius Reilly, the cruel gazes of my Viking nephew, and all the cynicism of transplanted New Jerseyans who won’t be cowed by storms, or snakes, or the giant mutant amphibious rodents that I’m sure hide under my nephew’s bed.

Anyway, with wind and rain bearing down on the bayou, let’s kill time with a Category Three installment of “weird searches that brought people to this Web site.”

literal coat of arms
If that person knows what “literal” means, then this makes for one disturbing image.

exotic bone splitting combat axes
Wield these while wearing your “literal coat of arms” and you’ll be a superlative whirlwind of smite.

review of literature on shelf life of cumin
Good grief, man, how much cumin did you buy?

unicorn spittle
I’m not saying it’s not the secret ingredient in my homemade pierogies, but…

stimulating grendel lessons
I sense a joke about having only one arm, but I’m too much of a prude to make it.

how to catch a predator series starring chris hansen on dvd
If you need this to stimulate your Grendel, then God help you.

frenzied sharks eating themselves
When my book becomes a Sci-Fi Channel Movie, remind me to include this in a scene.

playmobil war of independence
“I was only a boy when they clipped a rifle in my hand and loaded me onto the troop ship. It was my first time away from home, and I was scared, because I’d never been able to bend my arms. I told the sarge, but he just stared at me. ‘Boy,’ he said, ‘none of these sons of bitches can bend their arms.’ No one laughed; they just smiled and gazed into the distance…”

what part of the book beowulf uses anecdotes?
The part where Beowulf and the other Christians hold a tale-telling contest on their pilgrimage to Canterbury. Be sure to footnote me in your paper.

all we have left is the flowers in the garden to remind us
“You got your poignancy in my sarcasm!” “You got your sarcasm in my poignancy!”

i fought your face, and your face won
Thank heaven for my literal coat of arms.

now i’m fine, but i hear all of those voices in my mind
Ignore the ones that tell you to strangle manatees in the nude, please; but spare a thought for the folks in the Gulf, and hope that they get only rain.

2 thoughts on ““And as the nail sunk in the cloud…”

  1. Jeff, With a few tweaks here and there, I think we can move you up from #9 to #1 on google searches for playmobil war of independence!

    When do we get to read more?

    Like

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