To have insomnia and a television is to gaze upon a vivid Chaucerian world of advertisements for products of dubious worth: joint spray for pets, miraculous clean-up cloths, electric roach repellents, and magic detoxifying foot pads. Rarely do these products benefit the sleepless medievalist—until now.
Whether you’re prancing around wishing you were Dante Alighieri or just the minion of a cackling madman steering his spaceship toward the heart of a yawning black hole, the Weird Scarlet Medieval Cowl Thingie is the chinsy, pseudo-monastic garment you’ve been praying for. Its fibrous, fleecy folds let you live out your quasi-medieval dreams with panache. Why, if I’d had one, I might have updated this site more often in recent weeks—that is, as long as the air of wizardly authority it lends its wearer didn’t distract me from hurling fireballs at legions of screaming kolbolds. (Hey, you have your quasi-medieval vision, I have mine…)